Now we hear the twin sister of Kelly is unstable (and a lawyer- as a veteran of divorce and dealing with female lawyers and judges- I am NOT surprised.). And now we hear Petraeus wrote a letter to the judge trying to change a ruling. (Not your job general- just saying. You are out of country, how do you know she’s NOT nuts?)
But with all of this, I want to help you men understand what happened and actually what has happened for the last several thousand years by giving you two rules to follow:
First rule was given to us by Robin Williams after getting caught banging the babysitter and losing a lot of money. When asked what in the heck he was thinking he answered,
“I have come to the conclusion that God gave man two heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time!”
Yep, that covers men doing stupid things. But what is the deal with a ton of women out there? Years ago, my good friend Richardson would come to work every once in a awhile with a declaration of “great importance.” Usually, it was funny or prompted some thought and comment.
One year, his father pulled him aside and told him something he shared with us that changed my opinion of male/female relationships forever. Now, Richardson’s dad was a veteran of divorce; five at the time, with two of his former wives being certifiably insane. They had doctors papers proving it, like an AKC certificate! (Yes, he knew it at the time and still married them- please refer to statement one for the explanation…)
He looked at his son and said,
“Son, I’ve come to the conclusion that all women are nuts, some just hide it better than others.”
And there you have it. You apply either or both of these statements to most of the trouble you experience or witness and you’ll find they solve your confusion.
Now, not all women are nuts and some men are no better. There are many women who are wonderful, supportive, even keeled, nurturing and loving, so this is not an indictment of women. However, the trouble is you can’t tell the good ones from the nutjobs. So, it is best to assume the worst and hope for the best.
So consider it more a caution than a warning. If you know sooner or later, “Aunt Crazy” is coming for a visit, you won’t be taken off guard as much. That could save you in a pinch. I mean if you think you need to duck all the time, when you do, you’ll be able to dodge out of the way quicker. That could come in handy and mean the difference between a whiff and a cast iron frying pan up side your head!
As for the first statement, well we can’t control ourselves half the time. I was saying to a friend if they wanted to make a hundred billion dollars develop a pill that makes the body produce enough blood to run both heads at the same time and you’ll be rich! Not only that, history would change immediately. No more Sampson, David, Troy, Napoleon, King Henry, or a compromised Petraeus.
Am I wrong? Maybe. But I say this, ignore them at your own peril. Petraeus did.
Hi honey, I’m HOME!!!