Justin who is still around? Man, drink a protein shake and shut up!


Justin Bieber took home the first award of the night at the 40th annual American Music Awards–Favorite Male Pop/Rock Artist–but instead of his usual positivity, he set a rather bratty tone for the remainder of the evening. Instead of leading off with the usual accolades (you know: God, parents, hard-working staff, that sort of thing), Bieber chose the rubbing-in route for his thank-you speech. “This is for all the haters who thought I’d be around for 1, 2 years,” he announced, adding, “I feel like I’m gonna be here for a very long time.”

Great. Obama has been reelected, companies are shedding full timers like dandruff, and I have to hear about Justin Bieber, who frankly needs to either change his clothing ensemble  or come out of the closet, complain about how tough his life is. Apparently, his on and off girlfriend decided to “off” him again.  Maybe she’s tired of rubbing a bony chest with no hair.  I mean really?

 At any rate, Bieber, who was left dateless after his separation, rose to the occasion by bringing his mom, Pattie Mallette, as his date to the awards show instead.

Like any modern teenager, he chose social media as his platform to invite Mom, tweeting “@pattiemallette miss u. love u. wanna be my date this weekend? :)” on Thursday. Luckily, Mallette was free on such short notice, and tweeted back, “I would be honored! Love u sooo much!!

Another report had him racing his Ferrari and getting a ticket then jetting around on his bike afterward.  The kid is probably going to end up a James Dean or a Gary Busey if he’s not careful.  Which would mean I’d have to go through years of wailing teenager girls celebrating his passing like Elvis.

God, PLEEEASSEE don’t wreck.  I couldn’t take it.

Skinny little whiner. Grow up, join the army, do something tough and meaningful with your existence.  Trust me.  A year in Afghanistan would make you realize your life isn’t all that crappy. Besides, they’ll train you and when you get back, you can really beat up a photographer.


Justin chasing paparazzi.


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